Fighting Furies

Total absence of love is the definition of evil. I'm convinced. Love in it's fullness and purity is strictly 'other-centredness'. Total selflessness. Church and church goers and generally 'good citizens' have historically labeled drinking, smoking, drugs and the abuse thereof, as well as murder, elicit sex and many other acts and things as 'sin' and 'evil'; but those things in themselves, I believe, are not Sin and Evil. An apple is not the tree itself. The tree gives birth to the apple, and so, those things we label as 'sins' are not the Sin itself. So what is it? Who is it? Is it a concept? Is it a person? Is it Lucifer? We have so often had a fear and hate for Satan with such a passion that we fail to realize he is not the 'real' culprit. I dare say that he is also a willful victim of something far more horrid than himself. Now, if you'll take a moment to let this thought settle, the most proper reaction to this is: 'what in the world'?! When this thought first dawned on me, I felt afraid. It's always easy to blame it on the Devil, isn't it? Like that often used phrase: "the devil made me do it!" We like to label things and acts as 'sin' in general and especially when we see it in other people. We like the tangible, the visible. We like to take those sins and sometimes the people that are attached to them, put them in a box and label it all kinds of things; but over all, we call it sin. Some people are satisfied with this. For a time (I'm ashamed to say) so was I... Not anymore. There is no multiple 'causes and effects'. I believe there is only ONE cause and multiple effects. So, here's the thorn in my mind. If these 'evils', so to speak, is not Evil itself, then someone needs to ring the alarm! That hideousness, that thing that makes abuse and murder and all manner of wrong: its 'fruit' or 'effect', that beast is still out there! We couldn't be more off track... We have caught and caged the WRONG THING! Tell me then, where does 'it' come from if it didn't come from Lucifer? What is sin? Some time ago, in my minds eye, I was in the dark; felt around for the switch, turned on the light. Looked hard into myself and found what I thought could never be found in me. That same hideousness. Now, come down this road with me, hypothetically speaking. Did I stab someone when my knife did the piercing or when I chose to do it the week before? When does the deed become reality? I'm going to slap you in the the face...wait a sec...just did that in my head already...never mind. Maybe this is why we hate pornography so much. Even though it leads to the act, deep down inside we know that the act had been done over and over again in the mind, long before the tangible deed was done. So we find that, that hideous strength is relentless because it's the embodiment of selfishness which is fueled by our passions. Let me repeat: our passions! It's UNLOVE. Now we see it for what it truly is. We have come face to face with Sin. When this thought dawned on me I felt ashamed because I finally saw myself for what I really am. Unloving. What can be done? I feel sometimes like David facing Goliath, except this Goliath is more monstrous and has already thrown many blows. Still I ask: What can be done? I'm in a battle that I am certain I can't win because I know me. I know that my body and will is that: selfish, unloving. I know it. Before I drown you and myself in a pit of sorrow there is still one more thought to consider. The 'ying' has to have the 'yang'. The bad has goodness matching it's every blow. The dark story always has light breaking free it's captors. Evil never goes without being fought! Love Himself came down to save us, a loveless world. Is this a made up myth? Are these our stories? Did we conjure them up to somehow give our lives a sense of hope? No, I believe not. This is too 'good' of a story for our tainted minds to come up with. We look towards love as our salvation because, do you realize, Love Himself is the only one that is selfless? Our complete opposite. If evil begets evil, then surely love begets love! So I find myself in this battle: fighting furies,waging war; sometimes against myself. I know that the only way to win is to stop being what I am. Which in itself is an impossibility. Can a leopard change its spots? No. Impossible. But I've come to believe that Love is far bigger than this hideous, selfish, loveless Sin. Reader, (if your still reading), go now to the love chapter: 1st Corinthians 13. Read it all the way through BUT instead of the word 'love' replace it with your name. Read it out loud. Reflect. Then go and read it through again BUT instead of the word 'love', now replace it with His name. There you will finally find your peace. Knowing now that only Love can 'do' and 'be' what we cannot. Love is greater than sin. Love has won.